This un came abewt arfter me lassie got short shrift frum the local Docs practiss when she rang up, suffrin' chesty pains an' palpimitations an' stuff -an' they'd bin boastin' in the lewcal rag abewt their new improvicated tellybone sysstem; yer, sure...
'Allo all - y'oroight? Oi'm oroight, too - an' tha's juss as well, in't it, eh? Oi mean, yer carn't get inter the docs fer an appointyment ter save yer loife, eh? An' Oi mean that quoite literal, loike...
Take moi poor step-dorghter-in-law - there she were, 'avin' a roight rum year wot wiv losin' 'er lad an' puttin' up wiv lots ov aggaravashun frum all sorts o' places, still gettin' on wiv all 'er chores an' stuff a foo weeks agew, an' not susprisin', she gets a roight whammer ov a chest pain - an' not fer the first toime, oither (she usuarlly juss don't utter a mutter - juss carries on, loike) - only this toime it were bad enuff ter worry 'er, an' she gets on the jellybone ter the doc fer an urgent appointyment.
The ol' gel on t'other end o' the loine says she can't 'elp, coz there's no toimes left...but 'ad me lass rung in a cupple ov 'ours earlier, they could'a squeezered 'er in! Lass on fone sez, "Go ter A an' E at the 'ostiple, if yer that worried" - an' wot sort o' hattitude is that? Moi lass juss wanted a bit o' checkover, not a hambuliance an' all that palaverication whoile 'er 'ubby's over t'other soide o' Norfik workin' up a sweat or two. She carn't droive, an' she di'n't want 'ubby pannikin' an' droivin' loike a loony ter get 'ome, in case 'e crunched up or sumfin'...espeshully if she were in t'hambuliance wot moight 'av been needed fer 'im, in that case...
Dun't bear thinkin' abewt, eh? An' ennyway, she were a bit wurried abewt goin' in ter A an' E, espeshully 's she recalled that Oi'd 'ad that sort o' trubble a foo year' back an' the 'ostiple akcherly popped me clogs fer me, fer a foo minnits - enuff ter put any'un orft, eh? Well, Oi'm still 'ere ter tell tales an' 'ave me moans, but Oi arsk yer - since wen d'yer get two 'ours warnin' o' possibibble 'eart attack, or anyfink else narsty???
Blimmin' 'eck, docs - 'ow comez yerz all on such fandoozy sallaries, yet yer starff put us all orft sayin' yerz 'in't got toime ter see all the sufferin' folks when we needs yer most? Oi know our area's growed lots over the parst foo years wiv 'ouses an' resimidents an' all - Oi've watcheded it whoile Oi'm roidin' me scooty - but it 'in't much ter arsk fer a qwick peek, eh? Juss wot are youze lot doin' in there wiv all yer toime? Debatimitatin' abewt buildin' annuver surgerery? We live in 'igh 'ope 'o that...
"H'improved appointyments", moi foot - they deserves the "birch"* fer that porky...
(Birch bein' the name o' the surgery, 'ere)
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