Oi juss been diggin' owt me paypers fer recyclyclin', an' came acrowst a harticle in our local parish magamazine frum our good ol Pastor Jim , so Oi thort Oi'd 'av a little tickle at 'im...
Coo, 'e's a gadabout, in't 'e? Gallivantin' acrosst ter Africy ter convert folks? Noice work if yer can get it, they say - tho' Oi can't 'elp but wunder 'oo coffed up fer it. Oi mean, Oi fownd anuvver h'article by 'Is Good Self in which 'e pontifimicated that no'un shud work on Sunday - an' there's 'Imself doin' dubble shifts in 'Is church on that self-same day, probbly on dubble-time, too. Tch! Moi late missus used ter say "Peeple in glass 'ouses shudn't throw stones", know wot Oi meen? Good luck ter 'im in Africy tho', Oi sez - good luck ter 'im. No dowbt the local troibsmen there henjoyed 'is sermons.
Well, at least 'e wuz lucky enuff ter come back aloive, unloike one of 'is Baptistical fore-fathers frum this parish - that poor ol' soul, Pastor Best, came 'ome in a coffin. Tragic, really. Y'see, the ol' chap also went orft ter Africa ter visit a bush villige out back o' beyond, an' the chief o' the troibe let 'im sleep in 'is royal 'ut.
Trubble wuz, chiefy 'ad this blimmin' great oak chair in 'is 'ut, wot 'e used ter deal wiv troibe laws an' such, an ter get sleepin' space, 'e 'ad ter 'oist is chair up inter the rafters wiv a block 'n takkle wot 'e'd blagged frum a travllin' salesman (before they casseroled 'im fer lunch, Oi 'spect). Any'ow, the 'ut wuz only made frum branches 'n lots o' grassy reeds 'n muddy stuff, an' bad luck 'ad it that it collapsicated that very noight an' squished 'em both flatter than a plattypussy's tail.
Poor ol' Minister came 'ome in a box six foot long, three foot woide an' arf an' inch deep, which wuz a bit tuff fer the gravedigger as 'e'd dug a normal-soized 'ole, but it got sorted juss in toime. Sad do, too - whenz they layed 'im ter rest, poor soul, he went dwip-dwop-dwip-dwop, loik ol' Rolf 'Arris's wobbly-board. It wuz 'ard not ter smile, Oi can tell yerz...
Juss goes ter show, eh? People wot lives in grass 'ouses shudn't stow thrones...
Tara fer now!
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